Emotional abusers = normal relationship?

I have to rant about something for a minute. If you wish to not read, then skip ahead.
I was browsing through Xanga and I came across a post titled "Phases" with a picture of different phases of weather and relating them to stages of an emotionally abusive relationship. The actual post was talking about the normal doldrums of any type of relationship - does he like me, should I do this, what happens if we disagree, blah blah blah. This angered me and hurt me so deeply. Having been someone who was emotionally abused by more than one man, seeing this type of comparison was so sickening. For those who haven't ever been in a situation even remotely similar to mine wouldn't understand, either.
I look back at all of my normal relationships and smile. Yeah, some of the guys and girls weren't all that great, but they didn't hurt me all that deeply. And then there were the three that hurt me the most, in order - Ryan, John, and Mikey.
Ryan flat-out raped me and gave me hell for wanting to appease my mother, who gave me hell for wanting a boyfriend as bad as he and for "having sex" with him. I still haven't told her the truth on that one. I almost don't want to. The first time I ever cut myself was on a "date" with this individual.
John did the physically worst to me. First we fought emotionally. He was angry all of the time, which he blamed on his father treating him in the same manner as a child. His real problem was his addiction to cigarettes, which turned him into a monster if he didn't acquire the amount he thought he needed during the day. What started as hurtful words turned into slamming walls, thrown food and broken plates, and destroyed lamps, then throwing me up to the wall, shoving me across the room onto the bed, choking me in my sleep, punching me in the stomach, holding me at knife point, and the eventual anal rape. It took me over two years to find the strength to leave and stand on my own two feet. Unfortunately, my lover was not in the picture because of John's utter control of every detail of my life. The courage came from...
Mikey and I had dated in the past, but split on my own terms. He found me again after Hurricane Ike, when he thought I had died. He gave me the courage to rely on myself, and then slowly worked me back down to nothing. His was some of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. Never had I truly felt what John had always called me, a manipulative bitch, a disgusting cunt, a filthy whore. And all because I wanted a life outside of him with male friends that I couldn't help but notice were attractive since I wasn't receiving the proper love I needed. My lover unfortunately had a front row seat to this event. I
At any rate, having been through what I have and seeing this girl post about how she's confused about "love" disgusted me so deeply. First off, what she spoke of was nothing but simple infatuation when you meet someone for the first time and expectations about things like the kiss at the end of the night, a second date, etc. Girls who don't have proper knowledge of how relationships are and can be on both ends of the spectrum and assume they know everything piss me off with a vengeance unrelated to anything I know. People in general who think they know everything anger me, but that's another story for another day.
I hope to teach my future children what relationships should be and shouldn't be. I want to one day be able to sit down with the both of them (because I only see one boy and one girl...always have) and discuss at length about things like this. I want them to know what their mother and father personally went through so they know not how to act and react within the special bond of a relationship. I hope hubbeh feels the same about this. I'm sure he does - he and I have very similar values on just about everything.
At any rate, stupid children are stupid.